Science presents… “Conversational Porn Tourrette’s Theater: A Dialog Gleaned from Moderated SPAM Comments.” {Wordpress SPAMmers enter room, take seats around a large conference table. A soft light encircles the table.} George: Nice site! A shining beacon of how to be human beings ass What a strange place here. gay, God Bless. Catherine: Hi all!!! Having […]
Science…
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Congrats, ladies! 2009 is for US!
Or… it’s the year for picnics. Or we’re going to be made into a picnic. I’m terribly confused, which means it must still be 2008. Wait, what’s that say? Let’s look closer, shall we? Thanks, Korea. Also, Happy New Year, science-ologists!
Yaaaaay! Fatality!
Okay, local news anchors of the world… let’s do a little exercise in putting on Serious Reporter Face. Ready? “Ten-car accident on major highway”… frown. “Adopt this puppy!”… smile! “Building collapse”… frown. “Impromptu rooftop concert!”… smile! “Tragic maple syrup spill destroys neighborhood”… frown. “Free maple syrup!”… smile! … Um, Austin market? All right, let’s go […]
A simple equation
It’s a week of learning and caring. And pain, which so often accompanies learning. And caring. Follow along, fellow scientists and mathmagicians: + = Let’s hire a professional groomer next time, shall we?
Even the Menu at AVN Awards is More Subtle
The 8th-grade boy who lives in my head has been giggling for two hours. I’ll be spending the rest of the afternoon contemplating the “side.” You usually can’t find meals named this pornographically outside of a poorly-translated Chinese take-out menu.
Aire®, Featured Now in Onlythe Finest Toilettes™
Meanwhile, the common “air” of the proletariat remains unfreshed. This post was brought to you by a gnawing hatred of superfluous E’s.
Loneliness also comes in 2-liter servings
Hey, baby… It’s been a hard day, huh? Man, you sure do look stressed! Let me pour you a drink. Maybe rub those tense shoulders. Wait, what’s that? You just looked around your teeny, cluttered apartment, and it’s just you, that giant misshapen pile of unattended mail, and a sad smattering of stained and unwashed […]
Insect, bird: Together in artistic harmony
Have you sat, alone and confused, wishing that someone would finally use the medium of oil ‘n’ canvas to bring together your love of butterflies and emus? You over that now?
Saving the world. And earning 1.25% APR.
Brightening mornings with his heroic fiscal solvency.