A recent work from my Very Important Conference in TX.
In the street.
It happened to me.
Right in the boob.
Sometimes even monkeys get ‘bandoned… until Jesus throws them a bone.
Hey, world: do we really need to make cheesecake more convenient?
I’m just sayin’.
Also, a TUB of convenient cheesecake?
(note: the following exchange is [multi] posted with the enthusiastic permission of the protagonist/practitioner)
The short story:
It’s 2003. Our (now happily-married) heroine goes on a few dates with a diminutive, wishy-washy stand-up comic with commitment issues. Things seem to be going well, and then, without warning, she is artlessly and unceremoniusly ditched by the fumbly microcomedian. And below, the narrative speaks for itself.
Consider yourself transcripted.
—–Original Message—–
From: T
Sent: Wednesday, November 19, 2003 1:57 PM
To: A
Subject: RE:
The bad news is, I sorta kinda got back involved with a lady I had been seeing for a while over the weekend and I’m not really sure how i’m supposed to handle it. So, I don’t think it would be a good idea for us to hang out “in that way” at the moment. Sorry to lamnishly do this in an email, but I’m much better at it than trying it in person.
—–Original Message—–
From: A
Sent: Wednesday, November 19, 2003 3:15 PM
To: T
Subject: you must have meant lameishly
(who’s the comedian now?)
Also: Is that a severed child’s leg under that table? With a little red sneaker?
I wouldn’t have believed it ‘less I’d seen it with my own two eyes.
